When people we trust suddenly become enemies, the best thing to do is subdue them with kindness. Dodge that stray bullet as soon as you see it coming and watch them lose steam, or at worst, make themselves look bad.
Friends Gone Rogue
People who we once thought of as friends can unexpectedly do a ’180′ and become everything but that. What exactly happened for things to get like this? Maybe our agendas conflict, or someone wronged the the other person; regardless of the reason, the situation needs to be addressed appropriately. What to do?
A good first step is to pull the person aside and let them know how you feel. It could be a misunderstanding, or they weren’t noticing they were being mean to you. Discussing the issues can help resolve a problem before it gets out of control. A misunderstanding over a simple pen can lead to drama and headaches if you let it get to that.
But what if the person refuses to talk things out, or is just set against making your life miserable. Well, there is an option for that: let them worry about it.
A Spoon Full of Kindness
A mentor once mentioned that the best way to defuse a problematic person is to shower them with kindness. She is a networking power house and knows how to play the political game. According to her, problem child is probably looking to pick a fight, so anything you do, whether it’s intentional or not, can be twisted into a personal arrttack on them. Sadly, they may be unable to notice this. However, here’s where you can begin to gain the upper hand in the skirmksh.
Reacting in a respectful leaves them shocked and confused, and helps us come out loiking like the better person. While they are busy hating, we are busy focusing on what matters. And don’t think the people around are not noticing the situation; they already heard five versions of the ‘beef’ going on. Who looks better, the person being nice or the person being a jerk?
Now don’t get me wrong, it’s not always easy to be kind, especially when the other person doesn’t deserve it. However, putting your ego aside, the benefit of not having to stress it mucb will be worth it.
I remember a friend who used to chill with me and was a great friend, but then someone came between the us and it went downhill from there. Take it from me, life is too short to let pettiness get the best of you. I may not invest much time and energy into my enemies, but at least they can’t knock me for being un courteous or escalating the situation. Usually people will get overloaded by the unexpected kindness and lose steam; but if they don’t, they’ll come out looking like jerks. Either way, you win!
Next time a friend goes rogue on you, discuss it and if that doesn’t work, let them flail alone. That’s their problem now.
What are some ways you deal with rogue friends or problematic people?